This September... Samuel L. Jackson is Samuel L. Jackson in... SAMUEL L. JACKSON YELLING!
In advance of actually viewing the movie so I can write an informed, thoughtful review, I’m going to just presume that Lakeview Terrace is going to be awful, formulaic, and full of gratuitous Samuel L. Jackson shouting scenes.
Here’s the plot, as I’ve gleaned from the previews: A white guy with a black wife move next door to a black dude who doesn’t like white guys having black wives and decides to harrass them by shining a bright lights into their bedroom, slashing their tires and angrily barking, “You didn’t get my permission to plant these trees!” at them.
Wait… what the hell?
Yep, at the 1:45 mark of the trailer, right when the music is getting dark and intense… we are made to witness a neighbor dispute where Sam resorts to cutting down our protagonist’s trees. I love how the hero runs outside and screams “What’re you doing?” as though Sam was backhanding his children or something. How does that scene sneak into the trailer? HOW?
The generic premise notwithstanding, nothing about this film makes me not want to see it more than the fact that an intense, lawn-dispute-standoff made its way into the trailer. You know what that means? They didn’t have shit else to show. Previews are specifically designed to show the handpicked most exciting moments the movie has to offer. In fact, they frequently show shit that the movie doesn’t have to offer. Can you imagine how horribly boring the rest of the footage must have been for them to have to resort to using this scene in the preview?
“We’re going with the tree-trimming scene? Seriously?”
“It’s either that or the scene where Sam diabolically cheats at golf by giving himself a three under par even though he bogied the last hole. Your call.”
“…”
“Which one do you want to use?”
“I’m thinking…”
Also, I’m not too happy with Sam’s, “I’m the po-lice!” line. Denzel did that. That line’s done. It’s off limits to all black actors for the next 30 years at least. And whereas Denzel famously followed up his line with “I run shit around here… King Kong ain’t got shit on me!” I imagine Sam Jackson’s character is going to say something along the lines of, “I’m the po-lice, you have to do what I say! And I disapprove of these motherfucking azaleas!”
While we’re here, let me just add that Sam Jackson has to be the most bullet-proof actor in history. No matter how many lousy movies he makes he never seems to fall into that Nic Cage level where people automatically presume that any blockbuster he’s in will suck just because his name is attached. Compare Nic’s string of colossal failures (Ghost Rider, Next, Bangkok Dangerous, and the incomparably bad The Wicker Man) with Sam’s, (The Man, Jumper, Snakes on a Plane, Freedomland, xXx: State of the Union, and let’s just go ahead and count Lakeview in there). Sam’s easily as bad as Nic when it comes to refusing to turn a role down. But he has cool on his side. Once you play a Jules Winfield type and build an image based on your patented, aggressive use of the word “motherfucker,” you apparently get a free pass from the public. The whole “relentless badass” persona is like a rechargable “Get Out of Ridicule Free” card. I need to get me one of those…
