Now, I initially read this headline and thought, “What an idiotic poll.” But then I thought, “well, maybe they’re trying to add a little bit of levity to this intensifying election, that’s okay.”
And then I came to this sentence in the article–
“Such views are significant because in many elections, candidates considered more likable often have an advantage.”
–and came right back to, “What an idiotic poll.”
First things first, I like Obama, but no way he’d be cool to watch football with. McCain seems like he’d be the cool old dude with stories about watching Jim Brown and Johnny Unitas in their prime, and how tough the guys were in the days before facemasks and extra-pads and rules against a good clothesline-tackle.
Obama seems like the dude who would try to eulogize every gotdamn play.
“And as we watched that forward pass from Tony Romo… the ball guided to its destination as though it understands and is obliged to follow the quarterback’s command… it finds a home in the waiting hands of Terrell Owens… a latter-day gladiator, graced with the swiftness of Hermes and the power of Heracles…”
“Damn, B, are you trying to say ‘Great pass, touchdown Cowboys?’ Because that’s what Al Michaels said, B. And then he moved on to the extra point, the kickoff and the fumble that just happened. Come on, B, keep up! And put away that Caesar’s salad and grab a burger, we’re watching football!”
Maybe that’s an extreme, unfair assumption on my part. I don’t know. All I know is Obama hoops with his shirt tucked into his windpants while rocking what appear to be Asics cross-trainers…
Or are those the fake New Balance joints...?
…he can no longer be trusted to be cool about anything sports-related ever again.
More to the point, however, none of the above is in any way significant, because I’m not electing a guy to watch football with, and none of the people I do watch football with are going to run the country, thank God.
I remember a similar, pointless poll coming up in the last election: something along the lines of “Who would you rather get a drink with?” Who gives a shit? I know people who are cool to get a drink with who I wouldn’t trust to go to the restaurant next to the bar and order hot wings without fucking the order up, much less be the leader of the free world.
If I step into a bar and the president’s there I’m going to panic my ass off. “Mr. President, what are you doing here? Who’s running the country?”
“Man, I just had to get away, get a few beers in me. Russia keeps talking shit, China’s poisoning babies, there’s an asteroid the size of Mount Everest rocketing towards the planet…”
“There’s a what!?”
“…and on top of all that there’s Canada just being all to the north of us and shit like they think they’re better than us…I swear I’m this close to smacking somebody in the mouth with a nuke.”
Thankfully, the above scenario will never take place because you’re never going to just happen upon the president chilling in a bar, watching Ohio State lose the BCS Championship for the 9th year in a row. These types of questions should have zero significance.
Which candidate would you rather see be the gotdamn president?
Now that’s a significant poll question…
